Thomas McKenzie
by grace alone


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The Dallas Cowboys are God's Team

Yes, that is what I said. The Dallas Cowboys are God's football team. How do I know? Good question:

  1. For your quarterback to cough up the ball six times and you still win the game, divine intervention is required.
  2. To do it in such spectacular, nail-biting fashion on Monday Night Football, in front of the whole country? God is the only answer.
  3. You fire the Big Tuna, and then next season start at 5-0? God is at work.
  4. When a team with this much money, tradition and fan support can't win a single play-off game in ten years, the only reasonable explanation is that God is punishing them for their sins. Especially the sins of Jerry Jones. And Michael Irvin.
  5. Speaking of . . . Michael Irvin's Hall of Fame induction speech? There truly is a God, and he is doing his God-thing. Think also Deion Sanders.
  6. Dallas is called "America's Team." Before last year's NFC Championship, the New Orleans Saints started using the phrase "America's Team" for themselves. Since the Saints stole this from the Cowboys, how many games have the Saints won? None. Not a game. Why? Because when you steal from God's team, you incur God's wrath.
  7. No team has won more Superbowls than the Cowboys, even after this last decade of divine rebuke.
  8. The Cowboys have survived the idiocy of Jerry Jones (the firing of Jimmy Johnson anyone?) Must be God.
  9. God gave us Troy Aikman, Tony Dorsett, Don Meredith, Bob Hays, Bob Lily, Roger Staubach, Randy White, and, of course, #22, greatest running back ever, Mr. Emmitt Smith.
  10. The hole in the roof. God always has the best seat for home games.

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